As an Alienated Mother – I sympathize with all Mothers out there who are separated from the children that they love.
I hope you are well. It has been a very long time since I have heard from you. The last time I texted you, I asked if you would like to come over for a meal on a Sunday . . . that was a while ago now but you didn’t respond. I have to assume that one of your favourite meals that I enjoyed cooking for our family is not one of your favourites any more. I remember our Sunday meals – we would all be together enjoying visiting and talking about the week’s events. Those were really special times for me and I know that those are times that you will one day remember. Even though I don’t hear back from you, I know you are thinking about me – I definitely think of you. I do see your posts on Facebook and that gives me some insight into what your world is like now. I don’t text as much any more because it is very difficult to see no response come through. I do want you to know that I think about you every day. My love for you does not go away because you are not present in my life, it will never go away. That’s not the way things work. Mothers always feel that connection to their children no matter what and I am no different. If you think that I don’t care or don’t love you or don’t want you in my life, look at the stars and remember that I am still singing to you like I did when you were little:
Somewhere out there if love can see us through . . . then we’ll be together . . .
I hope on Mother’s Day I will hear from you. I will pray that this will happen. If it doesn’t happen, I will pull out all the cards and notes I have saved that you have written to me on Mother’s Day – they will remind me of you and the good times we have shared – I will find comfort in that. I remember the days that I heard from you every day now I don’t hear from you at all that makes me very sad. You see, I miss you very much. It is very hard being separated from you but it is even harder not knowing anything about you anymore. Your whole school year has gone by and I haven’t even seen a report card. I have all of your report cards from kindergarten to Grade 8 -I keep them in a box that has a lot of special reminders of you from over the years. When I look at these things, they remind me of fun times – those special memories that can’t be erased.
***UPDATE – I was able to see my daughter for about an hour – then she had to go to spend the rest of the day with her Dad, Stepmother and paternal Grandmother and Step grandmother. I thank God every day for small miracles. In the short time that we spent together – she spent a lot of time giving me updates – talking about school, her friends etc. It seemed as though she tried to fit in all that she could in the time she was allowed.
The best part of the day was the hug . . . and being able to say “I Love You”.