March 11, 2015 – marks the day everything changed.
I am alienated from my daughter – today is an anniversary of sorts (not one that I would celebrate)- I cannot believe I have been alienated from my daughter for one year! The heartache and heartbreak are still as raw as the day she left and never came back. I fear she is becoming more and more of a stranger to me. I hear nothing about her school, her friends, activities, what she does each day. Literally nothing.
My life before the alienation was pretty normal. Now I spend a lot of time alone – wondering, worrying, waiting. The typical things that go on in mind are . . . will I hear from her? . . . will she reach out? . . . does she miss me? . . . is she happy? . . . is she healthy? From the day my daughter was born, I was her caregiver. Now, I don’t exist – I feel as though I was thrown out with yesterday’s trash. She grew up with me being her Mother – now her Father and Stepmother are caring for her completely and have worked very hard to erase me.
I am not and was not a bad Mother but somehow a fictitious character that has horns and spews green venom has replaced who I formerly am. I was always an involved Mother – involved in school, extracurricular activities, took her to all of her appointments, cared for her, read to her, sang to her, had parties for her and her friends, talked with her and played with her. I knew the teachers at her school, the parents, the school secretary, the doctor, the dentist, her coaches, her music teachers and now, I know nothing. Her Father can’t even claim to say that he did any of those things when she was growing up. My ex did not show interest in those things. There is so much to this story but today I will focus on how I feel about this.
I was not given a choice or a voice when my daughter was taken from me – even though I am her Mother. So today – my voice will say this . . . it has been one year – I miss you just as much now as I did when you didn’t return to me and our family. I miss you – everyone misses you – your siblings, your grandparents, your friends, and your extended family . . . and your dogs (especially Maggie). I pray every day that a light will shine on you and that you will come back home. The light isn’t bright enough yet but it will happen – I have to believe it will. We will all be ready for your return – with open arms and filled hearts.
Alienation tactic: coerce entice or manipulate the child to reject the other parent/using the child to hurt the target parent/